As I'm starting out again, I think it's important for me to reevaluate my goals and motivations. When I first started my efforts to become healthier, I was in a bad place, both mentally and physically. I wanted to feel good about myself and stop the downward spiral before it got out of control. I gained around 30 pounds in half a year, lost it in another half a year, and gained 50 pounds back. I felt awful and was very unhappy.
I'm in a different place now, though. I have learned a lot of things over the last couple of years. I know how to listen to my body (even if I choose not to sometimes!). I have a vague idea of how many calories I've eaten, even without tracking it. I'm usually able to handle my stress without going on a binge, and when I do let go and just eat without thinking, I can stop myself a lot earlier than before.
But, I'm still not as healthy and happy as I would like. I'm still overweight, and I'm still struggling with staying healthy. I have learned a lot of techniques, but I don't take the effort and time to apply them. If I get off schedule and miss a few workouts, I end up not working out for a month or two. I've gained back 10 or so pounds of the 50 I had lost at one point.
My end goals are being healthier and looking better. I am vain. I like to look good. I'm also interested in being active and not getting worn out after 2 minutes of playing with friends or surfing. I enjoy the stress relief and the sense of accomplishment I get from a real workout.
So, my initial goals are to be more accountable. Ease back into working out regularly and tracking food. I'm going to play a little bit with diet as well, as I'm concerned that I've been eating way too much sugar and it's having a huge influence on me.
I would like to get down to my goal weight of 170 lbs. The lowest I've ever been is 179 lbs, and I was only there for a week or so. I can't remember ever being that low before. It felt good. It's a long 20 pounds to go!
In terms of my fitness, one of my goals is to open water swim a popular route near where I live. This swim is about 1.5 miles (~2400 meters). It will definitely take a lot of training to achieve this, but I used to swim a lot so I think I can do it eventually. It will also force me to get back in the pool, something I am not excited about!
I'm excited to move forward and start working towards these goals. I have been getting less and less healthy and more and more unhappy with myself, and I'm excited to be making progress.